Paying the price
So I was listening to Fred teach at Reverb today, I do that sometimes, and he was talking about paying the price for wisdom. He specifically discussed being willing to pay for the wisdom we receive.
It made me think of the price we unwillingly pay for wisdom sometimes.
Three years ago I went through a divorce. I was married for about eight years prior to that. The last few years of my marriage were markedly different from the first few. There were secrets. There was distance. A problem would arise and instead of addressing it or trying to fix it, I would let it go. I'd tell myself things would take care of themselves eventually.
That's not how it works, though. I realize now that relationships have to be tended to. Problems, no matter scary, have to be addressed. The price I paid for that lesson was my first marriage.
I know paying unintentional prices for wisdom wasn't really what Fred was talking about today, but he threw some seeds out and they took root in the hindquarters of my headbones and this is what sprouted.
Now it's your turn. Use the comment section to tell us about the hard-earned wisdom in your life. Tell us about the lessons you maybe didn't want to learn, but learned anyway.
Category: Post
It made me think of the price we unwillingly pay for wisdom sometimes.
Three years ago I went through a divorce. I was married for about eight years prior to that. The last few years of my marriage were markedly different from the first few. There were secrets. There was distance. A problem would arise and instead of addressing it or trying to fix it, I would let it go. I'd tell myself things would take care of themselves eventually.
That's not how it works, though. I realize now that relationships have to be tended to. Problems, no matter scary, have to be addressed. The price I paid for that lesson was my first marriage.
I know paying unintentional prices for wisdom wasn't really what Fred was talking about today, but he threw some seeds out and they took root in the hindquarters of my headbones and this is what sprouted.
Now it's your turn. Use the comment section to tell us about the hard-earned wisdom in your life. Tell us about the lessons you maybe didn't want to learn, but learned anyway.
Category: Post
posted by Patrick at 3:18 PM
13 Comments:
Well said, Amy.
Well, this isn't so much an answer but a question that was raised as I listened to Fred speak on Sunday. How do we know if we are being given wisdom from God by other people? What if there are people that are trying to give you advice and it's all different? Who do you listen to? How do you know if one of them is coming from God, all of them, or none of them? Do we wait and have to pay the price by finding out on our own, or do we listen to all the voices speaking to us?
Good question anonymous. I'd love to hear how everybody else determines what voices to listen to and which not to.
After I posted that I realized maybe I should chime in to get the ball rolling.
Maybe the easiest way to discern people's advice is to look at how it stacks up against Jesus' two big commands - Loving God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and loving your neighbor as yourself.
Of course those two commands don't always seem helpful when it comes to stuff like "Should I buy a house?" or "What career should I pursue?"
I think part of "paying the price" for wisdom might be putting time into discerning the voices that you're hearing from. What kind of people are they? What are their motives for giving advice? What does their life look like?
None of that is probably very helpful, but maybe it'll get the hamsters in other people's brain cages running.
Great questions/thoughts anonymous!
I completely agree with Patrick!
In addition, I think you must discern what God is leading you to do. I know this is often much easier said than done. However, I believe that God gives us our "gut feelings" for a reason...this is His way of helping us discern.
Also, when listening to the advice of others...see how it stands up to the Bible! If the advice doesn't stack up, then it's probably not from God. God won't tell us one thing in scripture, but lead us in a different direction through the advice of others!
Hmm...lessons I didn't want to learn, but did anyway. I tend to be a bit, um...stubborn. I don't like to give up when I should.
I spent a lot if time trying to make a marriage riddled with addition and abuse work when it was clearly *not* what God wanted me to do. In doing so, I paid the price of exposing my kids, mostly my oldest daughter, to a lot of stuff she should have never seen.
The good news is, God spoke volumes to me about how to do it the second time around and He has provided me a great role model to show the girls how relationships are supposed to be.
Although I am still extremely determined in spirit, I've learned better how to gracefully back away from things I simply cannot control.
Okay, when listening to advice, what happens if all of the poeple giving advice are people you look up to or would usually take advice from, but they are all giving different advice? My situation is a real one and it has to do with a relationship I am in. I am getting adivce from my family, who I would usually listen to, but I feel that their "vision" in this situation is clouded by the past and their own feelings. Then there are those who are "new" to the situation (non-biased so to speak)-people at church and other friends who are very in tune with the Lord who are giving me other advice. None of the advice goes against the Bible either. So is this a time where I just have to make my decision based on my prayers and my feelings, or do I listen to all the voices and try to make sense of it all?
Wisdom’s value, reminds me of all the self-help books that are available. Many of which are sitting on my shelves. (If anyone wants to borrow, “How to Read a Book“, give me a shout, I didn’t finish it). If I considered the time and money spent on these books I should be a genius. However, I find myself buying and reading more and wondering why they aren’t working.
During the past couple of weeks I accepted the challenge to read Proverbs. From the first few chapters, I recall significant warnings about knowing and not doing. I think this is the real root of many of my problems. It seems I have been exposed to all kinds of wisdom but the real problem is application. That could be why it’s in the first few chapters of Proverbs.
I’ve filled my noggin with all kinds of good stuff….It should start leaking out into my life one of these days.
Nice comments Bell, thanks for contributing.
Anoymous - Relationships are especially tricky because sometimes our hearts and our heads tell us two conflicting things. Sometimes we know relationships aren't right for us, but we cling to them out of things like lonelieness or affection.
Obviously I have no idea what your particular situation is, but I do know that going into any relationship with someone your family or friends are opposed to makes for a long row to hoe.
Sometimes families and friends give bad advice, but they're your family and friends and if they have a history of supporting you, I think I'd look long and hard at the advice they're giving you. You know?
My ultimate advice would be to take your time and move slowly with any relationship that you have questions about. If it's meant to be, it won't suffer from taking things slow.
WOW Patrick -- the hindquarters of your headbones? that be wayyyyy deep, my bruddah!
no, but seriously, i get what youre saying. and sometimes the price we pay isnt what we expected, is it?
Janet -- your words really hit where my heart is. But the question I have is -- when you wake up to the realization of all the wrongs youve done, and youve tried everything you can think of to reconcile with your past ... what do you do when those you love more than life wont accept your apologies? What if there just isnt any payment option available? And ... hard as this is to ask ... is there ever a time when you just have to cut your losses? If thats the case, what are you supposed to do with the hole where your heart used to be?
Anonymous, very good questions. It is unfortunate when those we love as Jesus loved don't always offer the same love and forgiveness in return. I wouldn't agree that we have to cut our losses, perhaps only to find ways to re-define those relationships for whatever positive we can find in them so that we may continue our lives with peace, if not resolution. Does that make sense?
Just as God is working in our lives He is working in theirs. Keep focused on the Lord and He will lead you in what to do.
In the meantime, here's a big ((((HUG)))).
Janet, in case I've never told you, you are awesome.
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